Sunday, July 30, 2006

Crap...


Im going to write about crap. Why not most people on blogger do. But I have been sick for the past 4 days. Im fine now but I ... Lets say I had intestinal issues. Now this always freaks me out because I almost died from intestinal issues in 1995. I had all sorts of thoughts in my head .... did I damage my intestine? do I finally need gall bladder surgery? do I have cancer? (my friends mom had this kind of cancer and that had me thinking) Diphtheria? Dysentery? -- crazy crazy stuff runs through your head when your pipes don't work right. For 99% of people out there a bad stomach is a minor inconvenience. It make me nervous/scared/angry. ---- Ok past that The heat is unbearable. Most of you know that I sell cars for a living. Going out side in to hot cars then inside the out side then inside all dat saturday made me more ill. I hope where ever you are you stay cool and refreshed. ....... Blog site update!!! POST SECRET is coming out with a book 2. I hope that you are able to support the web site and book . I think that this is one of the best things to come out of the internet in a long time .... that and all back door porn. Night all. **Big Kiss**

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Mad world...

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you


'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

YOUR WORTH ...

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by
holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked,
"Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you
but first, let me do this
He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"
And he dropped it on the ground
and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.
"Now, who still wants it?"
Still the hands went into the air.
My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it
because it did not decrease in value.
It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives,
we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt
by the decisions we make and
the circumstances that come our way.
We feel as though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or
what will happen, you will never lose your value.
Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased,
you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.
The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know,
but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE We ARE.
You are special- Don't EVER forget it."

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

chains.... and robots






OK OK I do not post stupid chain letters --- I saw this one and ....well you know the rest ....


When a girl misses u, she's afraid to see how your new girl looks, she's dreading the fact that ur not hers any more

When u break a girls heart, she still feels it when bumping heads 3 years later

When a girl just stares deep into your eyes, she's HOPING that your hers and only hers ( it shows how much she cares: eyes never lie)

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a few seconds,
she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday,
she is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says, "I'll love you forever, "
she means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,
she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you, "
no one in this world can miss you more than that

Guy Facts:

When a guy calls u
he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few minutes,
he means it

When a guy stares at you,
he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do?

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
he has the world

When a guy calls you everyday
he is in love

When a (good) guy say he loves you
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you
he's with you till your done

When a guy says, "I miss you, "
he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

Saturday, July 22, 2006

dreaming


Sometimes I still dream about you. I can't hear what you are saying but I know what you are saying. I never remember it. I see your smile and the blue in your eyes. The way the light make them shine. I feel your hands on me ,touching my face as we talk. I feel your lips on mine for a brief second before I wake up.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

cold


Its's 99 degrees in the shade today so I will not be talking about the heat. I will be talking about the cold. I remember as a child not having too many friends and playing bymy self most of the times. - At my grade school as is most schools the plowed the snow all to one side of the playgrounds. The big hills of snow from the blizzrd of 1978-79. We would often play king of the hill. Climbing and toppleing one another to the hard ice below. - On the weekends I would walk to school and play on the hills by my self. I would dig through the hard snow and make tunnels and ramps. No walkman or mp3 player just the noise and songs in my head. I would go home with my face red and raw from the wind and cold. Pants wet and refrozen from playing on the ice. I would take my gloves off and pants and hang the on the radiator to dry. I remember the first time I filled up the sink with warm water and dipped my frozen hands in to it. The pain shooting from the finger tips to my still frozen wrists.
As I grew older I made made friends and made many snow forts and had countless snow ball fights and battles. In the near suburbs of Chicago there were no hills and no place to sled. We developed an "urban" way of sledding. The cars of the mid to late 70's were hulking machines of Detriot steel. After a heavy snow fall the plowes were slow to arrive in our neiborhood. We would wait by a street corner. After a car would stop we would jump on the back on a squatted position and grip the metal bumper for dear life. The old cars would slide and start to go on. The car would carry us on our slick soled shoes for about a block or until we fell off. Skitching is what we called it. Some in Chicago proper would call it Skeetiching.
Some times we would wait behind a shopping center and wait for the UPS truck to drop spmthing off. We would grab on to it and fly. -- The cold never bothered us as kids. The wet never bothered me as a kid. Being alone in the cold is what bothered me.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Summer Monkey


If any one still reads this blog .... heres you F'n monkey ....

BushMECH

The Bush pilot himself reports about his job and the obstacles involved

Where have I been?


Usually I like to post every other day but I just have been feeling blah. I've said it before that I feel somthings missing in my life. I've thought about this and that and I just can't pin it down. Last night I went"camping" with the kids we broke out a tent and sleeping bags and passed out after a late night of cartoons. They were happy but I still felt hollow. My friends are there - we go out and play cards and drink but enen then I really dont have fun. Im going through the motions. Work is work and I tend to do well , but I'm bored there as well. -- i NEED SOMTHING. I have a feeling of wanderlust. That I need to see somthing or do somthing ....
and yet I don't know what that is. .......

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

No dogs allowed.... (or birds)



Arrg I feel like I'm Charlie Brown... My dogs have not become center of my
poor life... I had to spend $863 on the new puppy. She came down stairs a
few days back with this large lump on her back. We took her to the vet when
I was asked about rat poisons and other chemicals. They did a needle biopsy
and pulled some fluid from her. They next had to install a few (2) drainage
tubes in her back to remove the fluid. No one knows what happened. Perhaps
a trauma? No poisons for sure - thats clear. No allergys. Arrrgg. I had to
think about the cost -- put her down? or just step to it and have her fixed
up..... Well I could not even think about putting down a puppy...... My
poor dog is running around with tubes sticking out of her back. I did a
poison sweep and the house id clean with some bug poison in the shed in the
yard and only paint inside. ---- Im not doing bad but I sure would like to
win the lotto mega game. I guess its the stuff that sideblinds you that
hurts when you dont expect it.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Whats so great about America? (reprinted with out permission)



**Link to orininal**

The newcomer who sees America for the first time typically experiences emotions that alternate between wonder and delight. Here is a country where everything works: The roads are paper-smooth, the highway signs are clear and accurate, the public toilets function properly, when you pick up the telephone you get a dial tone. You can even buy things from the store and then take them back if you change your mind. For the Third World visitor, the American supermarket is a marvel to behold: endless aisles of every imaginable product, 50 different types of cereal, multiple flavors of ice cream, countless unappreciated inventions like quilted toilet paper, fabric softener, roll-on deodorant, disposable diapers.

The immigrant cannot help noticing that America is a country where the poor live comparatively well. This fact was dramatized in the 1980s, when CBS television broadcast an anti-Reagan documentary, “People Like Us,” which was intended to show the miseries of the poor during an American recession. The Soviet Union also broadcast the documentary, with the intention of embarrassing the Reagan administration. But it had the opposite effect. Ordinary people across the Soviet Union saw that the poorest Americans had television sets and cars. They arrived at the same conclusion that I witnessed in a friend of mine from Bombay who has been trying unsuccessfully to move to the United States for nearly a decade. I asked him, “Why are you so eager to come to America?” He replied, “Because I really want to live in a country where the poor people are fat.”

The point is that the United States is a country where the ordinary guy has a good life. This is what distinguishes America from so many other countries. Everywhere in the world, the rich person lives well. Indeed, a good case can be made that if you are rich, you live better in countries other than America, because you enjoy the pleasures of aristocracy. In India, where I grew up, the wealthy have innumerable servants and toadies groveling before them and attending to their every need.

In the United States, on the other hand, the social ethic is egalitarian, regardless of wealth. For all his riches, Bill Gates could not approach a homeless person and say, “Here’s a $100 bill. I’ll give it to you if you kiss my feet.” Most likely the homeless guy would tell Gates to go to hell. The American view is that the rich guy may have more money, but he isn’t in any fundamental sense better than you are. The American janitor or waiter sees himself as performing a service, but he doesn’t see himself as inferior to those he serves. And neither do the customers see him that way: They are generally happy to show him respect and appreciation on a plane of equality. America is the only country in the world where we call the waiter “Sir,” as if he were a knight.

The moral triumph of America is that it has extended the benefits of comfort and affluence, traditionally enjoyed by very few, to a large segment of society. Very few people in America have to wonder where their next meal is coming from. Even sick people who don’t have money or insurance will receive medical care at hospital emergency rooms. The poorest American girls are not humiliated by having to wear torn clothes. Every child is given an education, and most have the chance to go on to college. The common man can expect to live long enough and have enough free time to play with his grandchildren.

Ordinary Americans not only enjoy security and dignity, but also comforts that other societies reserve for the elite. We now live in a country where construction workers regularly pay $4 for a cappuccino, where maids drive nice cars, where plumbers take their families on vacation to Europe. As Irving Kristol once observed, there is virtually no restaurant in America to which a CEO can go to lunch with the absolute assurance that he will not find his secretary also dining there. Given the standard of living of the ordinary American, it is no wonder that socialist or revolutionary schemes have never found a wide constituency in the United States. As Werner Sombart observed, all socialist utopias in America have come to grief on roast beef and apple pie.

Thus it is entirely understandable that people would associate the idea of America with a better life. For them, money is not an end in itself; money is the means to a longer, healthier, and fuller life. Money allows them to purchase a level of security, dignity, and comfort not available in other countries. Money also frees up time for family life, community involvement, and spiritual pursuits, and so provides moral as well as material gains.

Yet even this offers an incomplete picture of why America is so appealing to so many outsiders. Let me illustrate with the example of my own life. Not long ago, I asked myself: What would my existence have been like had I never come to the United States, if I had stayed in India? Materially, my life has improved, but not in a fundamental sense. I grew up in a middle-class family in Bombay. My father was a chemical engineer; my mother, an office secretary. I was raised without great luxury, but neither did I lack for anything. My standard of living in America is higher, but it is not a radical difference. My life has changed far more dramatically in other ways.

Had I remained in India, I would probably have lived my entire existence within a one-mile radius of where I was born. I would undoubtedly have married a woman of my identical religious, socioeconomic, and cultural background. I would almost certainly have become a medical doctor, an engineer, or a software programmer. I would have socialized within my ethnic community and had few real friends outside that group. I would have a whole set of opinions that could be predicted in advance; indeed, they would not be very different from what my father believed, or his father before him. In sum, my destiny would to a large degree have been given to me.

Instead, I came to Arizona in 1978 as a high-school exchange student, then a year later enrolled at Dartmouth College. There I fell in with a group of students who were actively involved in politics; soon I had switched my major from economics to English literature. My reading included books like Plutarch’s Moralia; Hamilton, Madison, and Jay’s Federalist Papers; and Evelyn Waugh’s Brideshead Revisited. They transported me to places a long way from home and implanted in my mind ideas that I had never previously considered. By the time I graduated, I decided that I should become a writer. America permits many strange careers: This is a place where you can become, say, a comedian. That is very different from most places.

If there is a single phrase that encapsulates life in the Third World, it is that “birth is destiny.” A great deal of importance is attached to what tribe you come from, whether you are male or female, and whether you are the eldest son or not. Once your tribe, caste, sex and family position have been established at birth, your life takes a course that is largely determined for you.

In America, by contrast, you get to write the script of your own life. When your parents say to you, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” the question is open ended, it is you who supply the answer. Your parents can advise you: “Have you considered law school?” “Why not become the first doctor in the family?” It is considered very improper, however, for them to try to force your decision. Indeed, American parents typically send their teenage children away to college where they live on their own and learn independence. This is part of the process of forming your mind, choosing a field of interest for yourself, and developing your identity.

It is not uncommon in the United States for two brothers who come from the same gene pool and were raised in similar circumstances to do quite different things: The eldest becomes a gas station attendant, the younger moves up to be vice president at Oracle; the eldest marries his high-school sweetheart and raises four kids; the youngest refuses to settle down; one is the Methodist that he was raised to be, the other becomes a Christian Scientist. What to be, where to live, whom to marry, what to believe, what religion to practice—these are all decisions that Americans make for themselves.

In America your destiny is not prescribed; it is constructed. Your life is like a blank sheet of paper and you are the artist. This notion of being the architect of your own destiny is the incredibly powerful idea that is behind the worldwide appeal of America. Young people especially find the prospect of authoring their own lives irresistible. The immigrant discovers that America permits him to break free of the constraints that have held him captive, so that the future becomes a landscape of his own choosing.

If there is a single phrase that captures this, it is “the pursuit of happiness.” As writer V. S. Naipaul notes, “much is contained” in that simple phrase: “the idea of the individual, responsibility, choice, the life of the intellect, the idea of vocation, perfectibility, and achievement. It is an immense human idea. It cannot be reduced to a fixed system. It cannot generate fanaticism. But it is known [around the world] to exist; and because of that, other more rigid systems in the end blow away.”

But where did the “pursuit of happiness” come from? And why has it come in America to mean something much more than simple selfishness? America’s founders were religious men. They believed that political legitimacy derives from God. Yet they were determined not to permit theological differences to become the basis for political conflict.

The American system refused to establish a national church, instead recognizing all citizens as free to practice their own religion. From the beginning the United States was made up of numerous sects. The Puritans dominated in Massachusetts, the Anglicans in Virginia, the Catholics were concentrated in Maryland, so it was in every group’s interest to “live and let live.” The ingenuity of the American solution is evident in Voltaire’s remark that where there is one religion, you have tyranny; where there are two, you have religious war; but where they are many, you have freedom.

One reason the American founders were able to avoid religious oppression and conflict is that they found a way to channel people’s energies away from theological quarrels and into commercial activity. The American system is founded on property rights and trade, and The Federalist tells us that protection of the obtaining of property is “the first object of government.” The founders reasoned that people who are working assiduously to better their condition are not likely to go around spearing their neighbors.

Capitalism gives America a this-worldly focus that allows death and the afterlife to recede from everyday view. Along with their heavenly aspirations, the gaze of the people is shifted to earthly progress. This “lowering of the sights” convinces many critics that American capitalism is a base, degraded system and that the energies that drive it are crass and immoral.

These modern critiques draw on some very old prejudices. In the ancient world, labor was generally despised. The Greeks looked down on merchants and traders as low-lifes. “The gentleman understands what is noble,” Confucius writes in his Analects, “the small man understands what is profitable.” In the Indian caste system the vaisya or trader occupies nearly the lowest rung of the ladder—one step up from the despised “untouchable.” The Muslim historian Ibn Khaldun suggests that even gain by conquest is preferable to gain by trade, because conquest embodies the virtues of courage and manliness. In these traditions, the honorable life is devoted to philosophy or the priesthood or military valor. “Making a living” was considered a necessary, but undignified, pursuit. Far better to rout your adversary, kill the men, enslave the women and children, and make off with a bunch of loot than to improve your lot by buying and selling stuff.

Drawing on the inspiration of philosophers like John Locke and Adam Smith, the American founders altered this moral hierarchy. They argued that trade based on consent and mutual gain was preferable to plunder. The founders established a regime in which the self-interest of entrepreneurs and workers would be directed toward serving the wants and needs of others. In this view, the ordinary life, devoted to production, serving the customer, and supporting a family, is a noble and dignified endeavor. Hard work, once considered a curse, now becomes socially acceptable, even honorable. Commerce, formerly a degraded thing, now becomes a virtue.

Of course the founders recognized that in both the private and the public sphere, greedy and ambitious people can pose a danger to the well-being of others. Instead of trying to outlaw these passions, the founders attempted a different approach. As the fifty-first book of The Federalist puts it, “Ambition must be made to counteract ambition.” In a free society, “the security for civil rights [consists] in the multiplicity of interests.” The framers of the Constitution reasoned that by setting interests against each other, by making them compete, no single one could become strong enough to imperil the welfare of the whole.

In the public sphere the founders took special care to devise a system that would minimize the abuse of power. They established limited government, in order that the power of the state would remain confined. They divided authority between the national and state governments. Within the national framework, they provided for separation of powers, so that the legislature, executive, and judiciary would each have its own domain of authority. They insisted upon checks and balances, to enhance accountability.

The founders didn’t ignore the importance of virtue, but they knew that virtue is not always in abundant supply. According to Christianity, the problem of the bad person is that his will is corrupted, a fault endemic to human nature. America’s founders knew they could not transform human nature, so they devised a system that would thwart the schemes of the wicked and channel the energies of flawed persons toward the public good.

The experiment that the founders embarked upon more than two centuries ago has largely succeeded in achieving its goals. Tribal and religious battles such as we see in Lebanon, Mogadishu, Kashmir, and Belfast don’t happen here. Whites and African Americans have lunch together. Americans of Jewish and Palestinian descent collaborate on software problems and play racquetball after work. Hindus and Muslims, Serbs and Croats, Turks and Armenians, Irish Catholics and British Protestants, all seem to have forgotten their ancestral differences and joined the vast and varied American parade. Everybody wants to “make it,” to “get ahead,” to “hit it big.” And even as they compete, people recognize that somehow they are all in this together, in pursuit of some great, elusive American dream. In this respect America is a glittering symbol to the world.

America’s founders solved two great problems which are a source of perennial misery and conflict in many other societies—the problem of scarcity, and the problem of religious and tribal conflict. They invented a new regime in which citizens would enjoy a wide range of freedoms—economic freedom, political freedom, and freedom of speech and religion—in order to shape their own lives and pursue happiness. By protecting religion and government from each other, and by directing the energies of the citizens toward trade and commerce, the American founders created a rich, dynamic, and peaceful society. It is now the hope of countless millions all across the world.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

aarrrrrrrgggg



Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be living... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... oh then you hear that terrible high-pitched screaming. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' all those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces.



I just dont get it any more.... I try to be the good father and shit goes wrong.... To day I spanked my kid to an inch from his life. He ran in to the street to get his ball and of course his 2 yr old brother ran after him. After I spanked them both I tore in to him on how I didnt car about why he ran out there - I didnt care about the ball or jimi down the street or any thing else that I only cared about them. He knew he was suppoed to get me if that happened but no he goes off in to the fucking street. ..... Beside that I spent 4 fucking hours shampooing my carpets and clean the house. The Mom came over with mu sister and my newphew - so all three kids tore through my house.... So after awhile I went to a friends house to drink beer and watch breakin' ...... I thought is was a good movie 22 yrs ago. Its filmed lice a porn movie.... If some one is not dancing on screen it kinda sucks...... OK thats it for now I have a headache and need another beer to keep it away. I hope that the fourth is a fun day for you all.