I've felt lost this past few days if not weeks. I think its wanting to be young again. To catch the lost moments between landmarks. The ability to call up a friend and know they were not doing any thing either and just hang out. Money was not a necessity. If you have a fiver you could get a few beers and just chill. Don't get me wrong I love to hang out with my friends and many times that what we do- hang out. We order in some food and watch a bad movie or 2 on the telly. Even just sitting doing nothing with a few friends is a blast. For me anyways. No rush to pick up the kids, go to work, meet clients and be an adult. I had the leisure of being able to sleep in, to drink the night away and smoke till dawn. To decide to drive downtown or go to southern Illinois to just say hi to a friend.
The weight of adulthood is at my side. The cost of many many things keep me working. I'm not going to list any thing because its more than likely the same list of responsibilities you look at every day. The best part is that for the most part (99.99%) I love my responsibilities. I love my boys, the house the yard and everything else. But there are days that I wish I could have just one day back as a kid. Maybe one day in 1986, 1988, 1990, 1995, 1997. Just one day to be a knuckle head and just sit on the stoop and hang out drinking some cheep beer and listening to music. I would not attempt to change the world or any thing else like that just a day to enjoy your youth. They do say it and it is true "The youth is wasted on the young."
I know I sound like an old geezer when I post like this. I'm really not. I'm just a guy that is counting down my 40th this year. In theory I'm at my mid life if I were to reach 80. I'm going to hope I reach that in decent health, but the national average is about 73. So according to statistics I'm on a sharp decline. At best looking at a national average I have about 33 years to go until I hit the ground running.
Some times I watch the news and I hear about a person thats 100 +. As of right now thats an additional 60 years. Is this good? with a longer life does each act in your life mean less? I know the chance for tragedy increases. Burying your friends and family will become a fact. The loss of mental facility's will come in to play. I don't know if its worth it. Could I make it to 2068?
I watch TV and I try to notice people that are 40, 45 and 50. I hope I age better than most of them. Many people my age look like Carl from Aqua teen Hunger force or worse. I think I'm doing OK, granted I could always be doing better, less weight, eating better and better quality of foods. Then again who couldn't be. If I didn't work a odd work schedule I could get out and do things. I know I could always wake up earlier and go for a walk/run/ride/skip/wiggle/waddle/hop/swim/jog/sprint or any other means of locomotion but sleep is such a precious commodity.
Any ways thanks as always for listening me vent. I just think I'm in a mental funk about the big 40. ....... "Forty is the new thirty" ... yea right for some Forty if the new fifty.......
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