I find it funny on how quick I can access hate. Its lies just below the surface with me. I woke up this morning and found myself enraged to the point that I thought of biting my wife in the face. WTF? this is a thought that pops up in my brain? I found my self just ready to hit her and bite her. All for some photos that she wanted to take down.
This is one of my greatest fears that I have, to lose self control. To become the hulk, mr hyde and just lose humanity. To lose compassion and just lash out at what angers me. Its the level of what I think about doing that frightens me.
I have alot of hate inside me from when I was a child. This I only delt with by fighting on a daily basis. This hate /rage is quite alive inside. I have had dreams of me yelling at my father and being so mad that I have bitten my own fingers off......
I need to get away and just not be with any one for a long time......
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