bye bye ohio....

last day here. and Im glad. Im done here. Ive developed some sort of heat rash on my neck and chest and Im going insane from the itching.... insane... Today I go back on a late flight and Im glad. I really want a home cooked meal. Iwould come back if they asked me again but I wouldnt ask for it again. --in the past yr Ive spent 1 month here in columbus. I'll guess I'll actually miss some people.

Maps...

Happy birthday to me....

Its my birthday today. Im in ohio on business and its a dreary day. I decided to take the day off. Its not like me but I have no conection to the world today. I am going to treat myself to a nice lunch and a nice dinner, watch smallville and go shopping for my self. Im here for another three days and Ive been working for 10 days straight.Ideserve a treat. Perhaps a $5.00 shake. Maybe a slice of chocolate gooey cake for my self...

--- A long time ago I believed in reincarnation. I would often have dreams of being a black man in the 1930's in the south. I remember someone drowning my daughter. The dreams were vivid and very disturbing. Now I don't know about it any more. Would I want to come back again? What would I have to relearn that I did not learn this time around? The funny party of reincarnation is that only a very few people have claimed to have been an alien or slave. Even reincarnation has an end. Once you learn all you were ment to you achieve enlightenment.


**!!no its not a nazi Swastika, its a symbol that much older than that. -- Its buddahist!!**

Soul glow....

Ok I went back in to the hood again and went to the soul food restraunt...... my god I thought I was going to die. Not from the neighborhood but from eating so much. Hot water corn cakes, turkey , stuffing, yams, and mac and cheese..... I had lemonade but a co worker ordered red kool aide..... I could have found a tree and passed out for a couple of hours. I was hard to go to work afterward. The place was small and kinda dark, 3 tables but the ladies all called us honey or baby and were awsome. I want to go back and I dont at the same time. If I go alone I might just pass out in the parking lot...... Its all about the soulllllllllllllllll glowwwwwwwwwwww...... baby.

Sunday bloody sunday....

Normaly I do not work on Sundays in Ill. Here in ohio the store is openon sundays. it sucks....no football games , no sunday beers. just customers and people who need a slappin. the only good thing was that i did have some kick ass sushi.... outside of that today just sucked.....i missed a party for a friend yesterday. that sucked too.... i guess im starting to reall;y miss my family and friends.

Soul food?

Today is my 5th day here in Ohio and I'm already tired of being here. I don't have any friends here and work is long late hours. I'm tired of going out to eat. Ive grown bored with it. The fake smile at my hostess and waitress. The chit chat to cover uncomfortable silences. The noise at the restrauants; clinking , chatting and music. I just want to eat a nice home made and possibly healthy meal. I guess you can taste the love that goes in to a meal. Today I did have a real good lunch. I co worker of mine took me to a Jamacian restrauant in the "hood". It was not a nice place outside. There were plenty of shady types about. But it was Friday and about 4pm so I know most of the guys just got out of work. I guess I would describe the neighboor hood as being close to the near south side of Chicago. I also assume the my size protects me as I was refered to by a guy walking by as "big man". I went in ant there was no place to sit. All the seats were full. I ordered Curry chicked, mac and cheese and red beans and rice. (peas and rice as they called it.) We brought it back to work and the smell was wonderful. Hot spice, and a slight smell of cinnimon and clove. It was delicious. That was a meal in which the was love. Some true soul food. I am going to another place that is all about soul food on Monday. I know they serve catfish, fried chicken, greens, mac and cheese and yes you can get red Kool Aid there by the glass...... Its not 100% of what I needed today but it was damn close. Night all.

Edna's Caribbean Kitchen
Columbus, Ohio

bitch slap.....

Have I become so old that I just want to yell at people for being stupid...... To day in Ohio this boy/man comes in and asks about buying a car. He has $2000 down and wants a sports car. OK its 27,000 so his monthly would be about $600 .... he makes $6.50 and hour and has shitty credit. He flashes the money at me as to try to impress me. I tell him to put it away and he should consider getting a check instead. I want to slap him for fucking wasting my time. lives in the basement of his moms and wants to spend 70% of his net imcome. suprised when his bank says no.... Fucking wigger .... Thats what Ive noticed about columbus. White boys that want so hard to be black. Now the Black men I work with are very proper and speak w/ zero accents I would say white but I guess propper would be more accurate.

I had Skyline Chili yesterday ..... Its been featured on Food TV. It train wreaked my gut like a case of sliders would. A guy at this store said "ïts good to have once a year"... hes right.

back to ohio......

Well I'm in Ohio again and I noticed somthing funny today. Ohioins do not do well in bad weather. Its been raining and misting here all day. I went to help some people outside in the rain w/out an umbrella and the were shocked. Like the rain was going to melt me. I wonder how the would do in a Chicago winter; the cold and ice and snow. It looks like the rain is here for few more days. I fell asleep on the plane and had bizarre deams - the drone of the engine knocked me right out. I hope i didn't snore too badly.
I brought some movies and lost season 1... I just have to make some me time. It will be hard cause i'll be working from 10:30 til 9pm..... ok all im beat its been a long day and im off to dream land. I'll miss you all.

Gort! Klaatu barada nikto!

I am leaving soon, and forgive me if I speak bluntly.

The universe grows smaller every day, and the threat of aggression by any
group, anywhere, can no longer be tolerated. There must be security for
all, or no one is secure.

Now, this does not mean giving up any freedom, except the freedom to act
irresponsibly. Your ancestors knew this, when they made laws to govern
themselves, and hired policemen to enforce them.

We, of the other planets, have long accepted this principle. We have an
organization for the mutual protection of all planets, and for the complete
elimination of aggression.

The test of any such higher authority, is, of course, the police force that
supports it. For our policemen, we created a race of robots. Their function
is to patrol the planets in space-ships like this one and preserve the
peace.

In matters of aggression, we have given them absolute power over us... this
power cannot be revoked. At the first sign of violence, they act
automatically against the aggressor. The penalty for provoking their action
is too terrible to risk. The result is, we live in peace; without arms or
armies, secure in the knowledge that we are free from aggression and war.

Free to pursue more profitable enterprises. Now, we do not pretend to have
achieved perfection, but we do have a system, and it works. I came here to
give you these facts.

It is no concern of ours how you run your own planet, but if you threaten
to extend your violence, this Earth of yours will be reduced to a
burned-out cinder. Your choice is simple... join us and live in peace, or
pursue your present course and face obliteration.

We shall be waiting for your answer... the decision rests with you.

9/11 5 years

Well a part of my oldest sons childhood died today. I was watching a replay of the 9/11 world trade center murders. It was a movie done by 2 french guys that were doing a documentary on fire men when all the shit happened. My son asked what happened. I told him that a bad man caused that all to happen. He in his simplest wisdom said he should be in jail. ---- I didnt know what to say at first but I told him that people were looking for him. Soldiers and police men ... he responded and super heros too. Cops are good guys and are super heros. ..... Did I lie to my son? Are we looking for Osomma or are we in such a fucking quagmire that we have no hope of getting out? They hate us ; period. I'll say that 90% of Americans hate them as much. or not trust at all. By them I will say ... muslims. Arabs, Pakistani etc. We are just too PC to talk about it. I love my country but I an so far from the government. I see our right and way of life taken apart bit by bit. I cant talk much... it too confusing and dark. Fly your flag and be proud of those who are serving and remember what happened in NY, Washington DC and on that lonley farm field.

Goodbye...

Lost in thought?

I was asked if I was lost in thought by a friend and I responded with a
lie. I told her that I was ok. In truth I don't know if I am. My heads been
all over the place. Thought of family, kids birthdays,my sons school,
politics, church, my own health and the health of friends and in strange
way a kind of erie feeling of my own death(I'll get to that later) .
** The older you get the more complex the world seems to be. I guess I was
pineing about simpler times in my life. When friends were the only care and
perhaps what was at the movies. I guess I miss the feeling of that kind of
friend ship. Now it seems like every thing is much shorter..... The more
connected we are (cell phones , text, emails, etc the less connected we
really are with each other.
*** in the past few days I have had an erie feeling that I am going to
die. (no; no sucide!!). Something in the air maybe? I just can't pin it
down at all. Not a crazy dream, not a mental picture of any thing just a
crazy feeling. I don't know what to tell you buts its there. I'm not going
to panic like a Final Destination movie or any thing like that. Its not
depression. Its just a feeling. Maybe that why I have not been sleeping
well. Who knows. What ever it is I hope it passes soon.
Any ways Fall is here.... maybe not officially with the days but
PRO-FOOTBALL kicks off today and thats a good thing. Soon the leaves will
change color and I will be a slave to the yard to keep it free of any stray
ones. But I like to do that. --