The future is now...

the last of 2007 - about 12 hours to go.....

blah blah blah... Just another year of bloated Hollywood and its sad morals
bleeding on to us. Looky Lindsy and Brittney, OH my paris... what ever. I
watch very little TV because of my work times. I tend to watch more movies
(DVDs)than go to the theater. I try again I said try to read as much as
possible. I think this shields my from the bulk of the popular poison. I'm
not 100% insulated from it. Its on the news in both text and TV. I hope I
never hear from any of these so called starlets again. Bring on a new and
better breed.

I'm sad about the writers strike this year I want to watch my hero's
and I am semi excited about the Sarah conner Chronicles. Yes I'm and always
will be a sci fi geek. I can't escape that moniker. Its part of who I am.
I'm also excited for a few movies this year -- the zombie Chronicles,
1/18/08 (cloverfield) , the new star trek and others I can think about. I
hope (as I do every year) that the next year will be brighter , more
entertaining and better in every way.

**********************
When I was a child I was promised moon bases ans flying cars. I was to
see the first Mars colony and every wonder that the space age was supposed
to deliver. I was lied to. We never went back to the moon and I know we
will not see Mars in my life time. I'm only 40 and yet I already know this
as a fact. I also expect to see many many animal species go extinct. I
expect the Rhino and others to perish before my eyes. I expect to see a
bloated and over stretched China to start re colonizing Africa. I see
revolution in Cuba and in other still third world countries. -- bleak but
truthful.

Again I hope I'm dead wrong in all of these and I hope we do wind up in a
great science fiction utopia. God I hope we wind up in a Buck Rogers
future with jive talking robots, spandex body suits and hot woman dancing
to a neuvo disco. I'll even take the future containing battle star galacta.
Not the new dark one but the one that uses the same tailor as Buck Rogers.
Now thems a future that I would look for. ***Side note!!!*** Did you know
that Fred Astaires last performance was in Battle Star Galacta??

So.... Heres to 2008 and beyond.... I hope that your Special Neuvo Disco
Spandex wearing future is still out there somewhere. I already have my own
body suit ready....... Peace,Hope and Faith. Happy New Year!!!! Wear your
yellow underwear, eat your black beans, have a man come through your door
first and beat some pans to ward away deamons...... If I missed any
traditions you let me know.

my brain itches...

My head is swimming in the ether. I've been running shy on sleep in the
last few days. I've been out with friends and also having trouble sleeping.
The other night I woke up at 4am and watched Mexican wrestling until 5am. I
passed out again as the sky began to lighten up. The kids got up at 7am and
the day started over again. Its all adds up. It get to be quite scary at
times. While I was driving last night I saw things in the sky. Shapes and
shadows. Things that only exist in other dimensions. Things that looked
like the legs of giant elephants straddling the bridges of I88. Shapes of
people moving in snow banks. Things moving from the corners of my eyes. I
almost feel like I'm starting to be in a HP love craft movie. Loud noised
have startled me today. I feel itchy, not the winter skin itch but like my
brain itches. I wonder if this is a minor form of what meth heads feel
like. The bugs under the skin.

I know all I need is a good sleep. I have a few sleeping pills at home that
are non narcotic. I also need a good dose of Melton. Its in warm milk and
helps put you in to the dream lands.

My dreams are also odd of of late. I hear old friends in the back ground ,
but I can not see them. Its almost like I'm driving a car in a tunnel. I
can see what the lights strike and hear my friends but where am I? where
are we going? and why the hell am I always driving?

The dream lands of old are places in a common collective of where you would
go where you dream. For ages untold the places were the same. Its only in
the past 40-50 years that the items in dream have changed. In some cases
the change is much slower... What I mean by that is in re occurring dreams
I see my old college. Granted it was an old college with hard woods and
dark stains. In my dreams there are many stairs leading everywhere. It
looks like a movie <i>in the name of the rose<i/>. Its unrecognizable as
the college I went to but in my dreams I know what it is. Its an anchor
point on my dreams. I have very few. I have not seen my house nor my
parents house. No places I remember as a kid. No work places. No other
place. I can only guess its because so many people have been through that
school as students, teachers, Nuns. So many memories of people who have
slept there, fallen in love there, have been crushed there. Friends made
and innocence lost.

Ever have a dream the you thing has lasted hours and days. Whole scenes in
your life passed by and when you wake up only 11 minutes have passed? This
happens to me quite often. I'll go to bed. My head will hit the pillow and
WHAM, I'm some place else. The colors and story lines are almost too vivid.
The action and emotions are fierce. One wrong twist in an alley or street
and I'm in the mundane world. Laying in my bed staring at the red LEDs in
my alarm clock.

I must sound like I am losing it. My long winded ramblings of dreams and of
things that should not be. I don't mind being in this mental state, but I
know that i can not drive while I'm like this.

--------------------------------------------------------
concentrate...
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The new year is almost here. a celebration of one more lap around the Sun.
My friends used to have fun new year parties. Now I'm lucky if I stay up
til midnight. Generally I work until 6 or 7 pm. Have a nice steak and or
lobster and some nice wine. I hope if you do go out you are safe. Enjoy
2008 and like me try to get some quality sleep in the new year. Peace.

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Resolutions and a steak...

312-285-277 No not a number in Chicago. These numbers represent my weight.
God as I get older it gets so much easier to put it on and 1000 x harder to
take it off. The day goes buy too quickly and my energy levels are at about
zero after working all day. Even on an off day I'm with the kids and have
no time for me. The biggest thing that I have been doing is portion
control. For a big guy with a big appetite thats hard. I would love to dig
in to a massive t-bone steak with a mountain of garlic mashed potato's and
grilled onions and mushrooms, but Its better to only eat what fits on one
plate. I'm trying to watch carbs and cookies but Christmas make that a big
pain in the tush. Its over now and it will be easier. I'm starting to have
knee problems in my right knee. Its my past again catching up with me.
Joint pain in my spine, old broken fingers , who knows what else..... I'll
probably wind up with a cane and yelling at kids to stay off the lawn.
Back to the weight loss. I still need to drop about 52 pounds in another
9 months. About 5.7 pounds in each month to follow. Its do able..... Right
now I'm about 92 pounds heavier than when I finished High School. That was
a different world. I was big time in to lifting and martial arts. Sparing 3
minute rounds. Now I have to get mental energy to do the most basic of
motions. I have only one resolution this year and that is to drop weight.
Everything else would be gravy. I wish you all the best in the new year. I
hope that 2008 is better than 2007. Peace.

Aftermath

The house looks as if a bomb went off. Assorted matchbox cars, guns, bugs
and toys littered the living room. New clothes piled neatly in a chair. I
was awakened at about 7am by two little boys excited and grinning ear to
ear. We all went downstairs to check if St. Nicholas had been there. My
oldest got a few lumps of coal in his stocking as a warning to behave
better in school. After that the grand opening of all the presents began.
Paper everywhere, a mad dash to find and hold on to gift receipts,
batteries placed in almost every device know to man. The flurry of activity
lasted for about an hour and then happened again when the grandparents came
by. The kids had a good time , I personally had an exhausting time. Between
the food, the kids and the presents I was done about 3 pm. I think the best
present that I had was a nap at about 4 pm. The only bad part was that my
mom was ill in the last week, so there were no home made tamales this year.
Oh I still had them. There were store bought and not as good, but I don't
think I have ever had a bad tamale.
I hope that you had a good time with your own families. I hope you got
what you wanted if not what you needed. Peace and on to 2008.

After dark my friend...

Its been a long time since I've been out shopping let alone after dark. I hit a Toys R Us well after 10 pm last night. I can say it was a polite frenzy. A frenzy that will only get worse at the clock gets closer to Xmas. I remember as a kid that store seemed so huge. Rows and aisles of toys; from the dreaded pink one to the rows of bike racks. Now I felt as if I lapped the store in about a minute and a half. I quickly found what I needed and just decided to watch as some mothers were looking for things way outside their elements. The Wii and certain toys that have been sold out for months. I felt sad for the kids that want the latest must have door dad. I was watching the parents trying to avoid the heartbreak. How ever it was for things wanted not things needed. SO I know they'll get by just fine.
After that I went to a bookstore just to browse. Not that I needed any thing I just wanted to look at things for a bit. Books and Cd's , music and magazines. I'm so out of touch from music that is played on the radio or on line. I'm starting to feel like a old man in that respects. I don't listen to music in the car, the music at work is canned and the music at home is after hours when I tend to be doing something else.
Sometimes when I get out of the shower I like to move slower and listen to classical music while I shave and groom. About once a month I like to shave with a straight razor. It takes about a half hour but its a nice grooming ritual. Its almost a scene out of a horror movie. The classical music starts. I break out my razor and begin to sharpen it against the stone. That alone takes a good five minutes. The hot towel and warm lather against the skin. The razor cuts so close to the skin its very scary. I think because it is so scary that much more attention to detail is given in the shave process.

Too many things in life have been cheapened by convince. The quick haircut, the shave , a real shoe shine on good leather shoes, A real hand car wash, a good meal made by hand, a real butcher behind the counter, how about some one to pump your gas.....  In heart I am old fashioned. Its a shame that my kids will miss some of these things.

 

Peace.

SNOWBLIND...

The snowfall the night before was not too bad. Loose powdery snow not the
wet heavy snow that freezes in to blocks the next day. The sun came up on
Sunday morning and we headed out after breakfast. The hill is only about a
block away but the wind made it feel a whole lot farther. The kids didn't
even notice. Their cheeks were rosy before we got to the hill. I took a 6
foot toboggan as well as the multi colored plastic sled we bought at the
ACE. The kids could not wait any longer. We got to the top, checked for
cars and SWOOSH/..... they were gone. Then up the hill and down. One at a
time, both together, face first , on his back, superman style and in a loss
of control sideways. The hours went quickly as we went sledding. I was cold
because I was not running up and down the hill, but the kids were ready for
more.
I love this part of winter the weekend snow, the light snow with
sunshine on top. I dead it when I'm at work and have to hand clean every
car before I move it. Again the whole season is for the kids. As an adult I
would prefer a tropical island and Pina Coladas, but I'm a midwesterner at
heart. I hope all is well in your winter worlds. Peace. Noel.

The Spirit.....

I guess it caught me by surprise. The Christmas spirit. I was taking the boys to school and the radio was playing Christmas songs. With out knowing it I was singing along with Bing Crosby to the tune of Little Drummer boy. Then Frosty the snowman came on, followed by a long string of holiday specials. It felt good to belt these songs out and out of tune. I'm looking forward to my eldest sons Christmas show. Last year he was a Elf in a few songs, this year its Jingle bell rock. TO watch the joy in the kids faces is whats special to me....

 I just refuse to go shopping at the malls and most large stores. I find that whole part of Christmas wrong the greed the noise and chatter. I don't know if any one else feels this way or its just me. The whole thing that Christmas in this country starts right after Halloween and "officially" starts the day after Thanksgiving. It even extends until after the new years. ..... May be if I had money following out of my pockets I would care more but being just me I view it as an abomination against God. The whole Mammon thing just waiting in the wings... the stuff without Christ. Agggggg enough.

This Christmas we'll have the family over, cook a turkey maybe a ham and just keep it small and watch a few holiday movies. I always enjoy ; Christmas story,Charlie Brown Christmas,  Christmas vacation, its a wonderful life and others may be even Santa Claus vs the Martains....... Whats your favorite Christmas movie?      Any ways stay warm , drive safe and I hope you get every thing you asked for on your list...... Peace.

Stuff and want for more of it....

    Where do I start? I guess its December in general that gets me down. I work 11-12 hours a day to pay for my life and for everything else. It feels like doing penance for something that I did. My kids want the world at Christmas, but again what kids doesn't? I remember going through the Sears big wish book and making circles of every thing. Action figures and things that make flashing lights. I feel bad though. I want to give my kids every thing but I'd rather be a good father that they remember for loving them than the one who gave them everything and didn't have room in his heart for them. I thank God every day for health and the job that I do have. I thank him for my kids because they are good boys. In that fact I have a good life.
    Its the long view that worries me, college, cars , insurance and things like that. I guess its every fathers duty to worry about things like that. I hope that the economy gets better because that means that I will do better. The things that get tighter when the markets go bad are car sales. People tighten up just a touch. They'll hold on to that car for one more year. Its the same way for every one everywhere.

I'm not trying to be a Scrooge but I guess its me being jealous of what other have. It happens this time of year. They will spend thousands on their kids and I feel like I'm counting pennies. The bigger house, that newer cars the stuff. But it is just that.... stuff. I learned a lesson yesterday; a friend of mine at work told me a story about his brother. His brother just survived a house fire. They lost every thing , the stuff. But thats all it was, stuff. Things that you bought and hold on to until they get old. What he was most worried about was family photos. The things that have no value to any one else but himself. My friend is starting to make copies of photos that he has of his brother and his family to replace some memories. He's replacing his brothers heart. The burns will heal, the house will be replaced, the stuff will be replaced. But photos and memories cant, not really.

Hey, I'm sorry if I brought you down but Christmas always does this since I became a father. Hold on to your family close, take those pictures and don't worry about the stuff. They will remember the laughs and hugs allot longer than that plastic toy that will fall apart. Sing some Christmas songs , have that hot chocolate and maybe see Santa at the mall. Thats what matters.  Peace.