last few days. I've been out with friends and also having trouble sleeping.
The other night I woke up at 4am and watched Mexican wrestling until 5am. I
passed out again as the sky began to lighten up. The kids got up at 7am and
the day started over again. Its all adds up. It get to be quite scary at
times. While I was driving last night I saw things in the sky. Shapes and
shadows. Things that only exist in other dimensions. Things that looked
like the legs of giant elephants straddling the bridges of I88. Shapes of
people moving in snow banks. Things moving from the corners of my eyes. I
almost feel like I'm starting to be in a HP love craft movie. Loud noised
have startled me today. I feel itchy, not the winter skin itch but like my
brain itches. I wonder if this is a minor form of what meth heads feel
like. The bugs under the skin.
I know all I need is a good sleep. I have a few sleeping pills at home that
are non narcotic. I also need a good dose of Melton. Its in warm milk and
helps put you in to the dream lands.
My dreams are also odd of of late. I hear old friends in the back ground ,
but I can not see them. Its almost like I'm driving a car in a tunnel. I
can see what the lights strike and hear my friends but where am I? where
are we going? and why the hell am I always driving?
The dream lands of old are places in a common collective of where you would
go where you dream. For ages untold the places were the same. Its only in
the past 40-50 years that the items in dream have changed. In some cases
the change is much slower... What I mean by that is in re occurring dreams
I see my old college. Granted it was an old college with hard woods and
dark stains. In my dreams there are many stairs leading everywhere. It
looks like a movie <i>in the name of the rose<i/>. Its unrecognizable as
the college I went to but in my dreams I know what it is. Its an anchor
point on my dreams. I have very few. I have not seen my house nor my
parents house. No places I remember as a kid. No work places. No other
place. I can only guess its because so many people have been through that
school as students, teachers, Nuns. So many memories of people who have
slept there, fallen in love there, have been crushed there. Friends made
and innocence lost.
Ever have a dream the you thing has lasted hours and days. Whole scenes in
your life passed by and when you wake up only 11 minutes have passed? This
happens to me quite often. I'll go to bed. My head will hit the pillow and
WHAM, I'm some place else. The colors and story lines are almost too vivid.
The action and emotions are fierce. One wrong twist in an alley or street
and I'm in the mundane world. Laying in my bed staring at the red LEDs in
my alarm clock.
I must sound like I am losing it. My long winded ramblings of dreams and of
things that should not be. I don't mind being in this mental state, but I
know that i can not drive while I'm like this.
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concentrate...
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The new year is almost here. a celebration of one more lap around the Sun.
My friends used to have fun new year parties. Now I'm lucky if I stay up
til midnight. Generally I work until 6 or 7 pm. Have a nice steak and or
lobster and some nice wine. I hope if you do go out you are safe. Enjoy
2008 and like me try to get some quality sleep in the new year. Peace.
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