Stuff and want for more of it....

    Where do I start? I guess its December in general that gets me down. I work 11-12 hours a day to pay for my life and for everything else. It feels like doing penance for something that I did. My kids want the world at Christmas, but again what kids doesn't? I remember going through the Sears big wish book and making circles of every thing. Action figures and things that make flashing lights. I feel bad though. I want to give my kids every thing but I'd rather be a good father that they remember for loving them than the one who gave them everything and didn't have room in his heart for them. I thank God every day for health and the job that I do have. I thank him for my kids because they are good boys. In that fact I have a good life.
    Its the long view that worries me, college, cars , insurance and things like that. I guess its every fathers duty to worry about things like that. I hope that the economy gets better because that means that I will do better. The things that get tighter when the markets go bad are car sales. People tighten up just a touch. They'll hold on to that car for one more year. Its the same way for every one everywhere.

I'm not trying to be a Scrooge but I guess its me being jealous of what other have. It happens this time of year. They will spend thousands on their kids and I feel like I'm counting pennies. The bigger house, that newer cars the stuff. But it is just that.... stuff. I learned a lesson yesterday; a friend of mine at work told me a story about his brother. His brother just survived a house fire. They lost every thing , the stuff. But thats all it was, stuff. Things that you bought and hold on to until they get old. What he was most worried about was family photos. The things that have no value to any one else but himself. My friend is starting to make copies of photos that he has of his brother and his family to replace some memories. He's replacing his brothers heart. The burns will heal, the house will be replaced, the stuff will be replaced. But photos and memories cant, not really.

Hey, I'm sorry if I brought you down but Christmas always does this since I became a father. Hold on to your family close, take those pictures and don't worry about the stuff. They will remember the laughs and hugs allot longer than that plastic toy that will fall apart. Sing some Christmas songs , have that hot chocolate and maybe see Santa at the mall. Thats what matters.  Peace.