death in the Family 2

This weekend I went to a funeral for a friend. Yes this was my friends
father, but in life he was a friend to me as well. He was paralyzed from
the neck down for 14 years. It must have been a living hell for him to see
life moving beyond his own body. I'm glad that he is no longer suffering in
his physical life. I'll tell you- I miss him. I don't know if I would have
had the strength to stay alive. When I was in my own illness I had days
when I felt like taking my own life. My son keeps him in his nightly
prayers.
I have wrote before that I'm in that age group when you are starting to
see your parents and friends parents come full circle. The mid age; we're
not having kids, we're just making sure that our own kids do well. It is
starting to wear more and more heavily on my as I get closer to 40. I can
feel the weight of age creep in to my bones. I'm starting to take Advil or
Tylenol before I go to sleep just to quiet the dull ache. I'm lucky enough
to not be on any regular medicines as some of my friends are. Its the slow
tick to-ck of the clock that is beating me down. I feel some days if I
close my eyes that days, weeks and months wiz by with out me noticing. I'm
having a hard time remembering my kids as babies. I feel like just
yesterday my parents both had dark hair and held me before I fell asleep.
I'm sorry - its just being at the funeral make be wish that I could
peel back 20 years of my life and just take my time in enjoying life. Folks
I've said it before take ten munutes and tell the person you love that you
do love them, it just may be the last time you do. Yes it sounds morbid but
it is the truth..... Peace.