Tuesday, December 30, 2008

the end of '08

Well its almost over...2008. The gifts are unwrapped and the lights are
off. The hoopla is over and the ham is all gone. The grandparents spoiled
the kids and the dogs are beat....This has been one of the worse years in
my life...No physically, but all the mental uncerntantity...The next
president, the economy, gas prices are $4.40 less than 6 months ago and
people act as if it did not happen, housing bubble, auto industry on the
verge...I feel like I have become much much older than I really am this
year alone...

With that out of my system, Christmas was good. I once again lived it
through my kids eyes. Watching them rip open packages and get to gifts that
just made them beam with excitement. I enjoy being Santa and getting things
ready for them. I enjoy helping them pick what cookies Santa would like...
It was a good thing to believe in things bigger than your self...

I hope that 2009 brings you all a much better future and great health. I
just want to say thank you for reading the cluttered thoughts that roll
around in my noggin from time to time....Peace and hope for 2009.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Bells.....

Well its here....Christmas. Most of the month I hate it. The raw retail
push, the greed factor starting in November. The "Black Friday" mentality
that killed a person at a wall mart just makes me cringe. Its in the last
few days that I really enjoy, watching my kids get all ramped up for the
big day. Making cookies for the Claus, tree is lit, stockings are hung, and
toys put away..... These are good times, they still believe. They still
hear the Silver Bells.
I don't know when I lost my innocence with Christmas. When I knew mom
and dad planted the gifts. I did always hope that one present was from the
Claus. Just one small box brought for me and me alone. I believe through my
kids now and thats what is important. watching them glow with anticipation
of Santa.
So with this little blog post I wanted to say keep your kids alive
inside of you. Keep listening for that silver bell to ring no matter how
small..... Merry Christmas to all and yes even a happy Kwanzaa (what ever
the hell that is).

Saturday, December 20, 2008

snap crackle pop...

The cold has been in my bones. My hands , back and knees are killing me.
Ha, I'm getting old from the inside out. A few weeks ago my left knee hurt
and was sore for 2 days. The following day O woke up and my knee was no
longer sore, but it now clicks when I walk down stairs....How long before
it goes out on me? Every step it sounds like some one snapping their
fingers. Snap, snap snap.... I spent the night shoveling yesterday. The
drive, walk, neighbors drive and walk.... Now im beat and sore. I'm working
now but fantisizing of a hot lavanar bath when I get home...... these are
not normal man fantisies. They shoule be of young women in various states
of undress taking care of me. Thats what my fantisies should be full of ,
not time alone in a hot shower or bath.... The heart wants what it wants.
***the truth is that i am scared of my knee now and I pray that I do not
need a replacement down the line.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Ice ice baby.....

Why do I live in Illinois? OK I have family and friends here , but not alot
of family and it is a handful of friends. The weather is just killing
me.... I could hear the rain falling last night against the siding of the
house. The bad part was that I knew it was going to drop about 40 degrees
to a low of 7 above zero in just 5 hours. I woke up at about 430 to scrape
my wifes car and to start them both. At least with the defrost running it
will be easier come morning. I also thew down a bunch of salt on the drive
way so it was walkable.
Driving to work I spun out and I almost slid off the road going to the
dentist. Thats my morning. The good part was that no one was hurt only
frightened.....
I really do not know where I would live. I hate the heat, I'm not an
ocean fan , I really do'nt mind the cold. Ohio? Alaska? Seattle? Oregon?
Nebraka is ok, Iowa ... not so much. Mo? ... nah. Not Indiana , nope.
Wisconsin? The do like beer and sausages...Idaho??? Nope I'm not a white
survivialist, Dakotas? who knows... it just seems lonley like wyoming,
Montana?
Who knows where else I would live if I did'nt live here....

Friday, December 12, 2008

Betty Page, RIP


Printed without permission from the NY Times. I will be happy to remove if

asked.



Good Bye Betty.... You will always be young and beautiful in my heart....





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



December 12, 2008

Bettie Page, Queen of Pinups, Dies at 85

By ROBERT D. McFADDEN

Bettie Page, a legendary pinup girl whose photographs in the nude, in

bondage and in naughty-but-nice poses appeared in men's magazines and

private stashes across America in the 1950s and set the stage for the

sexual revolution of the rebellious '60s, died Thursday in Los Angeles. She

was 85.



Her death was reported by her agent, Mark Roesler, on Ms. Page's Web site,

bettiepage.com.



Ms. Page, whose popularity underwent a cult-like revival in the last 20

years, had been hospitalized for three weeks with pneumonia and was about

to be released Dec. 2 when she suffered a heart attack, said Mr. Roesler,

of CMG Worldwide. She was transferred in a coma to Kindred Hospital, where

she died.



In her trademark raven bangs, spike heels and killer curves, Ms. Page was

the most famous pinup girl of the post-World War II era, a centerfold on a

million locker doors and garage walls. She was also a major influence in

the fashion industry and a target of Senator Estes Kefauver's

anti-pornography investigators.



But in 1957, at the height of her fame, she disappeared, and for three

decades her private life — two failed marriages, a fight against poverty

and mental illness, resurrection as a born-again Christian, years of

seclusion in Southern California — was a mystery to all but a few close

friends.



Then in the late 1980s and early '90s, she was rediscovered and a Bettie

Page renaissance began. David Stevens, creator of the comic-book and later

movie character the Rocketeer, immortalized her as the Rocketeer's

girlfriend. Fashion designers revived her look. Uma Thurman, in bangs,

reincarnated Bettie in Quentin Tarantino's "Pulp Fiction," and Demi Moore,

Madonna and others appeared in Page-like photos.



There were Bettie Page playing cards, lunch boxes, action figures, T-shirts

and beach towels. Her saucy images went up in nightclubs. Bettie Page fan

clubs sprang up. Look-alike contests, featuring leather-and-lace and

kitten-with-a-whip Betties, were organized. Hundreds of Web sites appeared,

including her own, which had 588 million hits in five years, CMG Worldwide

said in 2006.



Biographies were published, including her authorized version, "Bettie Page:

The Life of a Pin-Up Legend," (General Publishing Group) which appeared in

1996. It was written by Karen Essex and James L. Swanson.



A movie, "The Notorious Bettie Page," starring Gretchen Mol as Bettie and

directed by Mary Harron for Picturehouse and HBO Films, was released in

2006, adapted from "The Real Bettie Page," by Richard Foster. Bettie May

Page was born in Jackson, Tenn., the eldest girl of Roy and Edna Page's six

children. The father, an auto mechanic, molested all three of his

daughters, Ms. Page said years later, and was divorced by his wife when

Bettie was 10. She and some of her siblings were placed for a time in an

orphanage. She attended high school in Nashville, and was almost a

straight-A student, graduating second in her class.



She graduated from Peabody College, a part of Vanderbilt University in

Nashville, but a teaching career was brief. "I couldn't control my

students, especially the boys," she said. She tried secretarial work,

married Billy Neal in 1943 and moved to San Francisco, where she modeled

fur coats for a few years. She divorced Mr. Neal in 1947, moved to New York

and enrolled in acting classes.



She had a few stage and television appearances, but it was a chance meeting

that changed her life. On the beach at Coney Island in 1950, she met Jerry

Tibbs, a police officer and photographer, who assembled her first pinup

portfolio. By 1951, the brother-sister photographers Irving and Paula Klaw,

who ran a mail-order business in cheesecake, were promoting the Bettie Page

image with spike heels and whips, while Bunny Yeager's pictures featured

her in jungle shots, with and without leopards skins.



Her pictures were ogled in Wink, Eyeful, Titter, Beauty Parade and other

magazines, and in leather-fetish 8- and 16-millimeter films. Her first name

was often misspelled. Her big break was the Playboy centerfold in January

1955, when she winked in a Santa Claus cap as she put a bulb on a Christmas

tree. Money and offers rolled in, but as she recalled years later, she was

becoming depressed.



In 1955, she received a summons from a Senate committee headed by Senator

Kefauver, a Tennessee Democrat, that was investigating pornography. She was

never compelled to testify, but the uproar and other pressures drove her to

quit modeling two years later. She moved to Florida. Subsequent marriages

to Armond Walterson and Harry Lear ended in divorce, and there were no

children. She moved to California in 1978.



For years Ms. Page lived on Social Security benefits. After a nervous

breakdown, she was arrested for an attack on a landlady, but was found not

guilty by reason of insanity and sent to a California mental institution.

She emerged years later as a born-again Christian, immersing herself in

Bible studies and serving as an adviser to the Billy Graham Crusade.



In recent years, she had lived in Southern California on the proceeds of

her revival. Occasionally, she gave interviews in her gentle Southern

drawl, but largely stayed out of the public eye — and steadfastly refused

to be photographed.



"I want to be remembered as I was when I was young and in my golden times,"

she told The Los Angeles Times in 2006. "I want to be remembered as a woman

who changed people's perspectives concerning nudity in its natural form."

Monday, December 08, 2008

mmm mmm good


Arachera (skirt steak on the grill)
burgers
portabella mushrooms
wings
tandoori chicken
floutas
tacos
peanut butter cup waffles
bacon
chili con carne'
pico de gallo
hot dogs
home made ice cream
brownies
Italian mac and cheese
jimaca in lime
cukes in lime and chili pepper
migas
fresh squid
scrambled eggs
quesidellas
beef soup
beef stew
pasta w/ a clam sauce
carrots on butter and brown sugar
baked Brie
spanacopita (spinach pie)
a good steak med rare
elvis breakfast
refried beans
Spanish rice
mati paneer
eggplant Parmesan


Just a list of what I really enjoy cooking......I'm hungry at work right
now and all I have here is a simple noodles in a cup.......

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

its my blanky.....


Ever wake up and just feel good for a few minutes before the day settles in
on you? I laid there for about 10 minutes this morning. Laying there
somewhere between dreaming and the waking world. The heat was on and I was
wrapped in a very comfy blanket. No one was in bed with me, no wife, no
kids and no dogs. Just me in my warm bed and blanket. My world consisted of
me and my blanky..... That was nice.
Its cold outside but bright and I think that is the key on my seasonal
funk.... Today I feel good and I hope you do also. I'm trying to stay
positive both mentally and physically. Its too easy to get in to a cabin
fever funk in the winter. We still have 4 months to go until St. Pattys...
thats my official end of winter celebration.

PAX.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

its dark way too early......

The first real snow fell yesterday. I'm know that I'm old now when my first thought was "pain in the ass". I can really feel the weather change in my knuckles. They feel tight and I have to pop the more and more. I walked my son to school as I do most mornings. He's old enough to walk by himself , but I like to walk him about half the time. He's enjoying the snow. He's all bundled in his snow pants and hoodie jacket he was warm.  As a kid I waled about 2 blocks to school and in High school I would walk near a mile. I remember the cold on my face and ice forming on my still wet hair. I don't really remember too much of it. 

  I know I'm just starting to get weird because of the lack of sunlight. We still have 19 days to go until the darkest day and winter starts. The darkness affects me because I sit next to a large window for the bulk of the day. Its just soooo depressing to see the Sun set at 4:15pm. The kids just got home from school and its Sundown.   I think I need to get some full spectrum bulbs. I said the same thing last year but I didn't do it them either. It feels like we are fighting an invasion. The Sun sets and the shades are drawn, doors are shut tight and the outside light is put on. All this at 4:30 pm.....

   Part of me want to move to Mexico and get away from the wind and snow. A second part want to move in to a cabin by a lake and just watch the sunset off the water.  I doubt I'll get a chance to retire the way things are now.  If I'm lucky I'll drop dead at work and just call it a day.....

Folks - no worries , its just the dark creeping in on me..........

Monday, December 01, 2008

achey

Maybe because I'm drinking too much coffee maybe I just watch too much news on the TV, but I've been ill. I don't sleep right I have not really eaten well and I constantly have this feeling in the pit of my stomach. Somewhere between nausea and hunger. This economy is just draining on everyone here at work. I'm working 6 days a week and waiting longer between customers. The economy have brought our foot traffic down to a crawl. The people that are coming through the door are people that have to buy a car not people that need to buy a car. Many many people are so far upside down on their cars too, lost jobs and things of that nature are catching up to many. Its draining to hear stories like this every day.
besides the weather I'm trying to avoid the TV. The news just beats down on me. The papers don't offer any relief either. I want to scream in to the wind , but that again makes no difference in the world. Its dark everywhere and all is banking on Obamma. How far and how quickly can he bring us back? That is a question that is on everyones mind... How and how dast the change will come. What is first in the books. Many many states are already red in their budgets. How is that going to effect people if the roads wont be fixed, plowed or garbage picked up. How long before towns go belly up and cops are not paid, nor fire depts? I pray for the best and prepare for the worst. I really hope I don't have to go cannibal in the next few years.... Like Y2k but with better TVs