mismash of thoughts

in the eye of the storm of bad news and crazy economics I an trying just to be a good father. Yesterday we broke out the old crystal growing kit, matchbox cars and video games. I always make breakfast for the boys and often walk my oldest to school. I get my Mr. Mom fix during the week, Laundry, lunches and I often watch one or two other parents kids during the week for an hour here or there. I often do get jealous of my wifes time with the kids. They will ask me "are you going to work today?". I guess I just do not know their routine with mom.  I have my own things to do and jobs that need to get done Even when I do have the boys.
       My dad was not really there for me as a kid. Granted he worked third shift so when he got home I was going to school. When I got home from school he was sleeping and going to work. We were really disconnected until I turned 25 and almost died. I think I am trying to make sure they remember me as a positive dad. I love me dad but is it wrong to try to be so different from him? Now he is retired and we really do get along. More so than any time we do get along. I think its the grandkids maybe he sees the time he lost with me. He is a great grandfather with my kids and my sisters. I think he developed patience with kids as the grandkids came along.

     My uncle was my father figure. He's the one that took me fishing and to ball games. We would often read and trade books with each other. Go to movies and have fun. The last movie I saw with him was Mission to Mars. Not exactly an Oscar winner, but it holds a special place in my heart.
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Winter is starting to creep on to us so I'm trying to get on my bicycle as often as I can before the snow gets here. The bad part is that's its all after dark so that does get kinda scary sometimes.Even with all my wacky lights people just do not see you.  I've been riding about 5 miles every other night. I'd rather ride in the daytime but I just don't have the time. Riding the prairie path after dark is super scary, its like something out of Sleepy Hollow and you need is the headless horseman.  Its hard at night, the streets are busy and lights are bright.  I will say that riding on butterfield is out at night. The shoulders of teh road are not good and traffic is too close to the rider.

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peace....