Monkey for November

Its has been awhile sina amonkey has graced these pages.... Here ya go.....Thank you.

Black friday and more.....

Black Friday; What a joke. Again I am disappointed in American near
Christmas time. It always make me shake my head and want to ask " What are
you doing?" . Why you you get up at 11pm or not go to bed at all to try to
grab sales? I used to just be mad at the people doing this but now I'm mad
at the stores. Now they open at midnight or some cater o a Thanksgiving day
sale. Some are pushing their super sales on the Wednesday before
Thanksgiving. Can't we just have a holiday that is a holiday. A true Holy
Day? A day where some one is respected or honored. A day where family,
friends or the birth of Jesus is remembered. Not a day where one tries to
grab the plasma TV or Cd's or any other crap made in China.

This year was an odd year for my Thanksgiving. My family was scattered here
and there. I still ate well but it was quiet. My youngest had a fever
through out the day. I spent most of my time with him in and out of bed.
Kids do bounce back, by 5 om it was as if he just woke up for the first
time through the day. His Thanksgiving meal was a bowl if cookie crisp and
milk. In truth that does not sound too bad either. Simple and honest.
Giving thanks to God for what you have.

The cold is upon us. I have sealed up the windows and almost finished
putting the deck away for the season. The cool weather clothes are all
their totes and the winter gear is out. Heavy coats and gloves, fleece
jackets and slippers, the heavy blankets and hats. I love the time of year
and hate it all the same. The dogs are in and out within 5 minutes. They
are not cold weather fans either. All this and I still want to see Alaska
and the South pole. Some people are complaining about the wind and temps.
I don't mind them. I feel bad for those who are out in this all day long.
The homeless, the outdoors trades men, water guys and gas line guys. They
are well compensated so thats a perk. I spend about 40% of any given day
outdoors. Some days more some days less but my job is weather dependent.
There is not a single work day that goes by with out a weather check. The
rain, wind, cold, heat , sun shine and of course the occasional perfect
day. 75 degrees and a slight wind, sunshine and an occasional cloud to
break up the sky.

As a kid I would often day out of those days and watch the clouds. The
shapes and the movement kept them alive. I would feel the sun soak in to my
skin. It would energize me, inspire me and give me hope that the day would
last forever. I think its been years since I've allowed my self to enjoy a
day doing nothing. A day with out an agenda. No radio, no DVD or wifi, no
chatter overhead or cell phones, no cars or family. Just a day for me.
Outside in the Sun perhaps on a hammock enjoying the sounds of outdoors.

I can feel the depression setting in around the edges. The Sun coming up at
6:42 am and going down at 4:22pm. The darkness never really goes away in
the Winter. Its held back for a few hours. I use compact fluorescent light
bulbs in the home to be green and save energy dollars. They do not provide
the right wavelengths. I have to go and buy at least one full spectrum
bulb. They help ( a little). I've been watching the old TV show Northern
Exposure. It was a fine show for the time. It actually held up OK 10 years
later. In the show they described eating a large amounts of chocolate to
help produce serotonin. A brain chemical that pushes back seasonal
depression. I would not mind a big chocolate shake and gooey cake. Hot
fudge sundae and waffles n syrup. Even if It does not work as told it would
be a good snack in the darkness.... Keep warm and keep the light on its
only 4 months till spring...

Turkey day.

Turkey day.....Kinda weird this year. My mom is in Texas with family. Both
my sister and dad are out. So as far as the bird goes its me and my two
boys. I think I'm opting out of having the bird this year. We bought a 17
pound bird but to cook it for basically one adult is not right. We are
going to save it for Xmas. Foe thanks giving I think we are doing a pasta
dish and mega salad. Some sort of lasagna, veggy? seafood? red and meaty?
We'll still do sides and my fav of deviled eggs. Thanksgiving was always a
20 minute meal and then break we are all off doing our own thing. Its just
a little odd this year. Any ways I will say it... I am very Thank full for
my friend ship with you. For those who read and comment and for those who
just read. Take care and hold your families close. Peace.

A straight razor shave...

I had a quick email or two with a friend of mine about the need to be
pampered. I feel like I'm so out of it ; that I have ignored my self so
much that I need to be pampered. Most men do not do this or would even
consider this. Right now I would love the full Eddie Murphy treatment ala
Coming to America. I would love to be hand washed head to toe. Hair cleaned
and brushed, Nails cleaned and clipped, straight razor shave, Hot towel on
the face along with a real boar bristle soap brush application, full hair
cut, have a pedicure and manicure, 2 coats of clear coat on the nails,
rough spots buffed out on my elbows, slathered in lotions, egg peel facial,
seaweed mask, eyebrows plucked,Mud bath ,salt scrub, Massage on my back
legs and arms, full body wax/shave, hell I might even ask for a Brazilian.
Ha! It sounds like I'm describing a car getting detailed. Its better than
my usual 2.5 minute shower that I take. With the kids its always a
challenge to find time for your self to do anything outside the basics.
I have a friend that would take a shower that took more than 20
minutes on a regular basis. He would shower until he used up. In case you
didn't know a hot water heater hold 40 gallons of hot water. He looked like
he was washed like Karen Silkwood. His skin was constantly pink from the
shower from over scrubbing. In the house he bought he swapped the heater
out and put in a 50 gallon heater to accommodate his hot water over usage.
He's in the military now so I expect hes down to a shower when he cat get
it while in Kuwait.
Anyways because I cant afford in both money and time for a full pamper
session I'm off to take a bath with my .99 cent bath ball and scented
candle .......If I have 20 minutes. I hope that you all can make time for
some well needed pampering. Peace.

doors and windows...

I sat outside yesterday and closed my eyes. Somewhere between sleep and day
dreams parts of my life replayed. High school, college, girls that I dated
and my own life right now. I have not seen the movie "sliding doors" but
every ones life if the cumulation of events. Some in your control and many
that are not. Things that our parents do, friends decide on and your own
silly choices. The last beer, the first kiss, the turn right or left, did
you make the yellow light or stop at the red?
Don't take this the wrong way but I was looking at the would of's the
should of's with a 20/20 rear view vision. I love my kids and my family
but could bit be a better life? Yes. Could it have been worse? Yes. The
grass is greener but for whom? I have a friend that is successful but he
would trade it to have a healthier father or child. Sorry I was tired and
the evening Sun was out while my mind drifted from thought to thought. I
viewed my life if I had married a different woman. If I did not have kids?
Had finished college? I wonder if the women I was with wonder about me? I
should have married him. Never left him. Gone out with him.
Everyone does it. There was a great film I saw that dealt with this ... The
Last temptation of Christ. A great film if you have a chance.
Hey I'm sorry I've been such a downer in the last few posts. My mind has
been elsewhere. Thanks for reading. Peace.

Hey old timer...

I have had a tough time sleeping in the past few weeks. Bad dreams, pains
in my shoulders and spine. Old wounds that now are starting to haunt me.
I's starting to feel like "The Picture of Dorian Gray". I am starting to
feel older and older every day and quicker. Like its catching up to me in a
few short years. At work I have become a veteran and people come to me with
problems and concerns. I think even my dad sees me as a peer as well as his
son.
I believe in staying young at heart and I know I have to. My kids are too
young to have an "old dad". I'm 39 years old with a seven year and a four
year old. When the youngest is 21 I will be.... 56. Can he kick my butt
when he's 21? Granted he'll be quicker and stronger, but I will have dirty
knowledge. Skills and experience. Theres always a balance in life. You will
almost never have experience and strength at the same time. I often wonder
how it would have been to have kids when I was younger. But again I would
have been more lost. Experience vs youth.
I realized that I had experience in a conversation I had with a friend at
work. He just found out his wife was pregnant. He was bogged down with
questions. I simply let him know that he will never be ready for kids. No
one will have the money , time , resources and knowledge to have kids. Just
have them and love it. --- Wow me with actual words of wisdom. I didn't lie
or try to scam him or take it as a joke..... Lol.

Sorry folks.... I've just been feeling old. Peace

After the sugar rush...

The kids had a good time begging for treats. I miss the full brunt of the
Holiday. Some times work and life gets in the way of plans. I got home late
and sat in the dark eating my dinner. No one ringing the door bell or one
to tell me about their day, no costume shows. I ate my fries and watched
something on BRAVO on the scariest movies.

With my odd ball work schedule I miss most celebrations in my life. Friends
birth dates, kids birth dates and just regular dates off as the rest of the
world. I spend very little time with my own kids except for breakfast. In
that time I usually spent yelling at them to finish so we can get to
school. Everything is on such a short clock. At night I creep in to their
bedrooms and tuck them in again and kiss them on the cheek. They will never
remember this but I will. When I'm home I wonder if I'm doing any better
than my own father did with me? He had his brother and sister living with
us, so that helped him lots.

I guess I'm feeling lost in the last few weeks. The Sun is going down
earlier, its getting colder and I don't know where I'm heading. I feel
like I work , eat, watch an hour of the telly and the drop off to bed. It's
a nasty cycle. My dreams are getting worse. Odd colors and Dr visits in
the shadows.

I feel like getting away and living in the deep country. Far away from the
noise and lights. The question would be , what type of life would my kids
have? How would their education be? Hospital care? How open are people in
the country to a Mexican in their midst?

People often fantasize of tropical islands and resorts. I would not mind a
big cabin in the woods, a big farm house on the plains, some where with
lots of land to insulate me from the noise of the world.

Yesterday was the Dia de los Meurtos (the day of the Dead). The day we look
at the family and loved ones that had died. Also because of that I began to
look at the relations in my life. I had to laugh; I've some some friends
for over 30 years and even my college friends for more than 19 years. I met
them in fall of 1997. I've known them longer than I've not known them. By
hook or by crook they are part of my life. I've seen them go through the
cycles of life with them. Births and deaths in the families. How long
before I have to put one in the ground? I pray its many decades from
now....

Where did my time go? I know this is a question that is asked by every
single person on this planet. Where did my time go? Every minute passes the
same for every one , but its how its perceived that make a difference. If I
could stretch out that one day, year or lifetime I could solve the worlds
problems. Even with the friends that I do spend time with I wish I could
spend more time with them.

I lost contact with a friend for almost 16 years. We connected again right
away, but thats is what friends are for. Invisible connections that last.
Trust that is still there. Laughs and memories that act as an emotional
glue between the two of us.

Any ways thats whats been in my head and heart for the the last few days.
Take care and stay warm....Peace.